Because public bathrooms are weird. There are weird marks on the toilet seats, the automatic paper towel dispensers never work- causing you to you flail about like a seizure victim waiting for 2 inches of brown paper, the water heats up too quickly leaving you with red hot hands... it just never goes well.
Another bad thing about public bathrooms is the public. You are using the restroom with strangers and, therefore, have to encounter them. And this story comes from one encounter I recently had with a woman in a Bardstown, KY gas station bathroom.
It was a hot summer day as I drove around the Bardstown area. I could not find the house I was supposed to go to and was getting increasingly frustrated with the Bardstown area. I pulled into a gas station to ask for directions [ain't too proud to beg] and decided to use the restroom because who knew when I would get through my visit and back to the office. I walked into the bathroom and what did I see?
A woman sitting on the toilet. This was not a 'one-seater' bathroom. This bathroom had 2 stalls. And no, I did not kick down the door Sparta style. This woman just did not close the door. Did not close the door at all.
What do I do, as I enter the bathroom... do I leave? Do I dart to the other side of the bathroom and pray that the other stall is empty, offering a safe haven from... well, a grown woman sitting on the toilet? Do I scream and run in circles?
I opted to sprint to the other side of the restroom and act like I didn't see anything. Unfortunately, someone was occupying that stall, leaving me stranded. I couldn't leave, because I'd be faced with Misses squatty potty and I couldn't turn around because I'd see her in the mirror. So, I stood, facing the wall of the bathroom, like a child on punishment. I was being punished for using a public bathroom and standing in the corner was my time-out.
I finally got to go into the stall and decided to stay into the bathroom as long as I could possibly stand to, just to avoid leaving the bathroom and seeing Misses No Shame.
I thought the bathroom was clear, but I was wrong. There she was, Misses 'who closes doors anymore?'. I go to wash my hands, eyes glued to the intricate patterns on the floor when she starts talking to me.
She explained, I just had to go the bathroom so badly, I didn't have time to close the door. I had to pee so badly, I even peed on myself a little.
At this point in time, she shows me the pee stain on her paints. What was I supposed to do? Agree, that yes there are times that you don't have to shut the door because you have to pee so badly? Because no, I don't agree with that. I think you can always take the .25 seconds to close the door. Always. And, if you do pee on yourself, please don't tell me. and for god's sake don't point it out to me.
This public restroom mess is enough to make any sane person where Depends, just to avoid these encounters.
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