I am not a diehard twilight fan in either direction. I'm not a crazy 'bite-me-rob' t-shirt wearing kind of gal. Nor do I think that Twilight is the most useless piece of crap ever-- there are so many other books, particularly in the self help section, that beat this triology+one other book.
But geez oh pete, what is the deal with Kristen and Rob awkwardness? I feel like they are probably both good people. I like them both as actors, outside of Twilight considering you can't consider that movie for it's talented acting....sorry. But outside of Twilight they have had decent roles in decent films and again, are probably decent people.
But geez oh pete they make my skin crawl! They are so awkward. In public. In interviews. On magazine covers. On award shows. I just want to shout: YOU ARE BOTH TALENTED, GOOD LOOKING, SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE!! WHY ARE YOU SO AWKWARD?!?!
I mean, I am awkward for many reasons, but I feel that if I were super good looking and successful and made lots of money, I would have a little more self confidence.
{at this point, my nana would say that it doesn't matter how successful we are or how we look on the inside. She would say that our confidence and self worth comes from the inside. I would say an obligatory 'yes ma'am' but would secretly be thinking that if I were super good looking, I would be oh so full of myself and confident.}
If you are not grasping just how terribly awkward this couple is, I have included a clip of the 'kristen rob' at the MTV movie awards.
Enjoy:
accepting 'best kiss' award
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Saturday, June 25, 2011
First day of school
The first day of school is always awkward. Figuring out where your classes are, who you are going to eat lunch with, what to wear... the whole process is a breeding ground for mishaps and sad lunches eaten in a bathroom stall because your friends' lunch period is earlier than yours...
My awkward story comes from my first day of graduate school, a setting in which I should be able to function as a grown up. I'm in graduate school for crying out loud!! This story also features a character I have lovingly named : Winky McGunslinger
My first day of grad school was a crazy one. I had to go to work super early in order to accommodate the 5pm friday night class. It was also ridiculously hot as I drugged around downtown louisville. My day was full of social working adventures [that's what I do for a living] and had been hectic all day. I helped a kid move into college. I put a deposit on a new apartment. I also ordered the wrong drink at Starbucks and stood in the store for 20 minutes while they said, "tall caramel macchiato" and me standing there thinking 'whoever ordered that drink needs to step up'.... oh wait, that was me.
This hectic day led me having to run to class. And if you know me at all you know that I am not a... how to put this... 'delicate girl'. I'm not the girl who says ooo, it's a little warm, i'm glistening a little bit. No way. I sweat. My hair gets dripping wet and my face is so shiny it looks like saran wrap has been out over it. It also made me about 10 minutes late to the first.
In come, running to class, breathing heavily and sweating like a drug mule at the airport. I sat down quickly and began writing down my introductory information on a note card, as the professor requested. As I wrote, drops of sweat fell off my face onto to my notecard. My professor then turns to me:
We are playing a get to know you game [inner monolouge: really? grad school get to know you game? great...] called two truths and a lie. You have to say three things about yourself, two of which are true and one of which is false. We as a class will try to guess which is false. You can go first.
I wiped the new forming sweat from my face and tried to think quickly. With no preparation, the best I could come up with is....
1) I had to run to class [hoping that people would understand the sweatiness this way and not think I was just really gross... I was regular gross]
2) Bacon is my favorite food [officially really gross]
3) I love public speaking.
People instantly guessed number three and hallelujah, the spotlight was off me. I zoned out for a bit as I tried to get my breathing and my body temperature back to normal. Once I felt under control, I mentally rejoined the game.
At this time, I noticed there were three men in my class. One was old, one was attractive but married and the third... well the third was young looking, cute, had tattoos, and no ring. Well well, class just got interesting. He went on to say his two truths and a lie, one of which was 'I've lived in Kentucky my whole life'. People in the class began debating this fact, thinking it was the lie. But from my angle, I could see that he had a tattoo of the state seal on his arm. I pointed this out to the class and he responded, 'nice observation.'
A normal, well adjusted, not psychotic adult would respond, 'thanks'. I did this part but I also added a wink.... while shooting him with my finger.
I held up my finger in the shape of a gun, winked, and said 'thanks.'
Thus, Winky McGunslinger was born. And I left my mark as 'that weird girl' in my graduate class. Fantastic.
My awkward story comes from my first day of graduate school, a setting in which I should be able to function as a grown up. I'm in graduate school for crying out loud!! This story also features a character I have lovingly named : Winky McGunslinger
My first day of grad school was a crazy one. I had to go to work super early in order to accommodate the 5pm friday night class. It was also ridiculously hot as I drugged around downtown louisville. My day was full of social working adventures [that's what I do for a living] and had been hectic all day. I helped a kid move into college. I put a deposit on a new apartment. I also ordered the wrong drink at Starbucks and stood in the store for 20 minutes while they said, "tall caramel macchiato" and me standing there thinking 'whoever ordered that drink needs to step up'.... oh wait, that was me.
This hectic day led me having to run to class. And if you know me at all you know that I am not a... how to put this... 'delicate girl'. I'm not the girl who says ooo, it's a little warm, i'm glistening a little bit. No way. I sweat. My hair gets dripping wet and my face is so shiny it looks like saran wrap has been out over it. It also made me about 10 minutes late to the first.
In come, running to class, breathing heavily and sweating like a drug mule at the airport. I sat down quickly and began writing down my introductory information on a note card, as the professor requested. As I wrote, drops of sweat fell off my face onto to my notecard. My professor then turns to me:
We are playing a get to know you game [inner monolouge: really? grad school get to know you game? great...] called two truths and a lie. You have to say three things about yourself, two of which are true and one of which is false. We as a class will try to guess which is false. You can go first.
I wiped the new forming sweat from my face and tried to think quickly. With no preparation, the best I could come up with is....
1) I had to run to class [hoping that people would understand the sweatiness this way and not think I was just really gross... I was regular gross]
2) Bacon is my favorite food [officially really gross]
3) I love public speaking.
People instantly guessed number three and hallelujah, the spotlight was off me. I zoned out for a bit as I tried to get my breathing and my body temperature back to normal. Once I felt under control, I mentally rejoined the game.
At this time, I noticed there were three men in my class. One was old, one was attractive but married and the third... well the third was young looking, cute, had tattoos, and no ring. Well well, class just got interesting. He went on to say his two truths and a lie, one of which was 'I've lived in Kentucky my whole life'. People in the class began debating this fact, thinking it was the lie. But from my angle, I could see that he had a tattoo of the state seal on his arm. I pointed this out to the class and he responded, 'nice observation.'
A normal, well adjusted, not psychotic adult would respond, 'thanks'. I did this part but I also added a wink.... while shooting him with my finger.
I held up my finger in the shape of a gun, winked, and said 'thanks.'
Thus, Winky McGunslinger was born. And I left my mark as 'that weird girl' in my graduate class. Fantastic.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Being from the country
I did not grow up in Lousville. Though I claim this city as my own, I am proud to say that I grew up in a small-ish town called Pewee Valley. I've ridden a horse, picked ta-maters [yes, pronounce it that way], and know everyone's business about everyone. Those are some of the joys of being from a small town.
One of the fall backs: No, it isn't the lack of Starbucks, good restaurants, or grammar skills.
It's the waving at random people.
Drive out in the country or any small town and you will see what I mean. People wave at everyone. Even driving by, people at least do the two-fingers-from-the-steering-wheel wave. It's more than just the upward nod of acknowledgement we do in the city. It draws attention. It says, "hello! I know you are here and I am glad you are alive and kicking!"
How could this whimsical small town gesture be awkward? Well, when you are a relatively small town girl uprooted to the relatively big city, this waving at strangers doesn't always translate. In fact, it can cause problems. Now it's time for STORY FROM MY DAY!!
I left work around 5:30. I walked through the parking lot through the drizzling rain when I saw the TARC 3 cruising through the parking lot. For those unfamiliar with the TARC 3, it is public transportation for disabled person's in the city. It is a short bus [I'm really not trying to make a pun here....] and doesn't follow a regular route. It can be anywhere at anytime.
So, I walk along and I make eye contact with the driver. Then it happened. It was like a reflex. A small town, Mayberry loving, don't wear shoes reflex from Hades. I waved at the driver. Big smile and generous wave at a strange man driving a bus. And what does this city driver do?
He pulls over. Like a taxi cab in Manhattan, he pulls over. I am thinking that he's dropping someone off until he yells, 'excuse me miss?" I started to go back, but then he started to drive. So I started walking the other way. About that time he saw that I was stopping for him, so he stops again. This back and forth 'me? him? me? him? confusion continues for several minutes. We finally stop at the same time and he asks 'were you trying to wave me down?' I apologized,
'sorry no... I was just waving....?'
Really? Just waving? As if this was a reasonable response. Oh, don't mind me, I'm just a wavin' at strangers. Creating a better world, a more peaceful world, a world where we know our strangers... one wave at a time.
One of the fall backs: No, it isn't the lack of Starbucks, good restaurants, or grammar skills.
It's the waving at random people.
Drive out in the country or any small town and you will see what I mean. People wave at everyone. Even driving by, people at least do the two-fingers-from-the-steering-wheel wave. It's more than just the upward nod of acknowledgement we do in the city. It draws attention. It says, "hello! I know you are here and I am glad you are alive and kicking!"
How could this whimsical small town gesture be awkward? Well, when you are a relatively small town girl uprooted to the relatively big city, this waving at strangers doesn't always translate. In fact, it can cause problems. Now it's time for STORY FROM MY DAY!!
I left work around 5:30. I walked through the parking lot through the drizzling rain when I saw the TARC 3 cruising through the parking lot. For those unfamiliar with the TARC 3, it is public transportation for disabled person's in the city. It is a short bus [I'm really not trying to make a pun here....] and doesn't follow a regular route. It can be anywhere at anytime.
So, I walk along and I make eye contact with the driver. Then it happened. It was like a reflex. A small town, Mayberry loving, don't wear shoes reflex from Hades. I waved at the driver. Big smile and generous wave at a strange man driving a bus. And what does this city driver do?
He pulls over. Like a taxi cab in Manhattan, he pulls over. I am thinking that he's dropping someone off until he yells, 'excuse me miss?" I started to go back, but then he started to drive. So I started walking the other way. About that time he saw that I was stopping for him, so he stops again. This back and forth 'me? him? me? him? confusion continues for several minutes. We finally stop at the same time and he asks 'were you trying to wave me down?' I apologized,
'sorry no... I was just waving....?'
Really? Just waving? As if this was a reasonable response. Oh, don't mind me, I'm just a wavin' at strangers. Creating a better world, a more peaceful world, a world where we know our strangers... one wave at a time.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Awkward Wave
Hello Public!! I am starting a blog. No, it is not about politics, or what I cooked for dinner and which organic foods I used to do so. It's about the awkwardness that I experience on a daily basis. This blog will contain true stories of things that have happened to me or situations that we all encounter that leave us going 'whoa, that was awkward.' So, here is my awkward introductory post. Hope you guys enjoy or at least get a good laugh out it.
See you in a bit...
See you in a bit...
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