Anyway, I live around some pretty weird and awkward people so I thought I'd take a Sunday afternoon and write about. So, blog world, I give you a run-down of the complex crazies:
Complex crazy #1: Squirrel guy:
Many super heros have animal related personas. Batman, Quailman, Spiderman, Hawkman, Cheetara... and it's cool... if the person has a super power. But squirrel guy does not. He does not save the world from evil super villains, build cool weapons, or fight regular crime. What he does do is to buy bags of trail mix and sit on the sidewalk, feeding the squirrels. He has a big grin on his face, feeding the squirrels, sometimes stalking them to the bushes. And he does this almost every single day. That is some kind of devotion.
Complex crazy #2: Apartment Band
They are like a garage band, but different... because they are stuck inside and all the sound comes right into my apartment. These guys are terrible. They attempt to play songs like 'Smoke on the Water' and 'Back in Black'. Except they miss about every third chord and the amps [cranked up to 11!] muffled by our walls cause their 'band' to sound like the teacher on Charlie Brown. Wa-wa-wa-wa... If you see me walking around with a pencil sticking out of my ear, it's because I just couldn't take it anymore.
Complex crazy #3: Brain Injury man
The guy on the patio right across from me is quite a character. Our patios are about 10 feet from each other, so going outside meant having a conversation with this guy was inevitable. Every time I went outside, we had the same conversation. He would ask what I did for a living and I responded, I am a social worker. And every time, he told me that he a social worker too, because he had a brain injury. We literally had this conversation almost every time I saw him. One day, he said, I bet you think I'm stupid because of my brain injury. In my head, I thought, that's not why I think you're stupid. I think you're stupid because of comments like this:
1) The other night, I had 6 guys on my porch, each about 200 pound guys. That's like.... well, I don't know how much that is, but it's a lot!
2) When discussing global warming...? What a lot of people don't understand is that the sun directly influences the temperature of the earth. Good point...?
3) First day I met, he asked a guy walking by: Hey, do you need anymore weed?... Then he turned to me and asked, Wait, you're not a cop are you?
Complex Crazy #4: Regular Joe
How to describe this guy? He is about 40 years old, lives with his mom, has a beer belly, and a country accent so thick, you can barely understand him. One time, I was walking by his porch and I heard: 'Who's a pretty pretty? You're a pretty pretty. Yes you are! You're a pretty pretty!' I looked around, praying that he wasn't talking to me, when I noticed that he was sitting on his porch, no shirt, petting a cat. And the cat was pretty, but he was being a little weird about it. When he isn't petting his cat, he likes to stand with his arms above his head, leaning on his porch, rubbing his stomach... sometimes with a finger in his belly button. Just what I want to come home to everyday.
So, those are a few of my neighbors. And i guess this is where I belong. An awkward girl in the complex of crazies. At least I'm funny awkward and not stick my finger in my belly button while watching people walk by awkward....
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