Voicemail

I'm not great at leaving voicemails. There something awkward about leaving a message for a machine that's meant for a person. I stutter, I forget who I'm speaking with, my thoughts wander which lead to babbling sentences... so, I give you not one, but TWO examples of awkward voicemails....

1) The accidental 'I love you'
There are some people you can say I love you to. Your parents. Your bffs. Your significant other. The chinese restaurant if they say your order will only take 10 minutes to deliver.... but there are some people you should not say I love you to. It's even worse when you leave it on a voicemail.

Freshmen year of college. I had a guy friend named Dan. And, if I'm being honest, I was crushing on this kid a little bit. We hung out, had some laughs, all and all, we were good buds. And, he was cute. We were also preparing to go on a trip to France for two months [wasn't college great? You could go to other countries for months all in the name of education or humanitarian service? good times]. I left him a message about the trip, making arrangements for he and I to travel to a training together for the upcoming trip. The message when something together like, "blah blah blah, ok, talk to you later. Love you!"

Love you? LOVE YOU?! Did I just say I love you to a cute boy that I'm just friends with?!

Most people would just move past it, avoid the situation, not make it a big deal. I couldn't do that. An awkward person couldn't do it. So I called back and left the following message:

" Hey... I just left you a message and told you  I loved you... but I don't really love you. I mean, you're cool and we're friends and I love you like a friend, but I don't love you love you... you know what I mean? Ok, so I'll see you around... and I'm not in love with you..."

What the heck....

2) Ace of Base
There's no easy way to introduce this recent voicemaili fiasco, so I'll just go right into it...

I saw a for sale sign outside a cute house near my neighborhood. I'm not really looking to buy a house right now, but I thought I'd call anyway, just to see. I called the number and left a message that started out normal... "Hi, my name's Katie Adams and I saw the sign... "

Of course, Ace of Base popped in my head. A normal person would move past it. Let it go. But I couldn't. I literally could not stop thinking about "I saw the sign... and it opened up my eyes..." So the message went like this:

"Hi my name is Katie Adams and I saw the sign.... um...... [Can't stop thinking of ace of base!]...I saw the sign ... which is an ace of base song! And I was wondering how many bedrooms are in the house... call me at this number... bye"

What on earth?! Really, did I feel the need to cite my source or just give a shout out to a fantastic 90s band?

Nope, I'm just awkward and that's how I roll.